hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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