OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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