I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
