I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
