You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
