My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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