I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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