its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
