Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
