we have officially lost it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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