Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You ruined the universe
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
