My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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