This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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