i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize