Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i drank out of a bidet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
