he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
