Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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