woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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