that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
