shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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