i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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