He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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