i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
