Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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