Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
one two three fourrrrnication!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
