you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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