i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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