in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
