just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
