A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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