if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
