nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
