I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
