She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
