better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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