I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
