my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
