his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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