honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize