Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
