is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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