i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
