so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
