I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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