Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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