absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
