i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
