saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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