my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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