that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
